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One time I was born in pretty much the same way most babies are born, in a small West Virginia city towards the end of the Truman administration.
One dark and stormy night I escaped in a boat and we fled for the freedom of Ohio. After a decade it dawned on me that it gets cold there every winter and there ain’t a hell of a lot one can do about it, so we loaded up the Olds mobile (my mother’s Olds
mobile, the old man had a T-Bird) and alit on the sunny sands of the Sunshine State. After a stint in the U.S.Navy left me convinced that the military life was not particularly suiting, I returned to Florida and learned
to sing protest songs through my nose.
Being an unemployed musician left me with a lot of free time so I learned to draw cartoons on bar napkins and write poetry, two wonderful things that consumed me with a passion and greatly contributed to a lifetime of semi-poverty. I got married to a short, cute woman whom I later divorced so she could go into the U.S.Army and save the free world. She caused the Berlin Wall to fall. I went mad for a while and that was rather taxing so I now pretend to have at least a tenuous grip on reality. I am currently employed in a small Florida department store as a reality checker.
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